Words that seek to be found.
The loss of words comes all too soon as I think of what to say in this blog.
Time after time I am blessed to hear such wonderful compliments from you all as I do my best to write about my time here.
And then a terrorist attack happens.
And my mind doesn't know where to go.
Questions get lost in themselves while words seek to be found.
How am I supposed to think about anything else?
Am I supposed to write at all?
What am I supposed to do or say or think or believe?
How am I supposed to tell you about my week or the lessons learned when so many people have died?
Who am I to speak about this matter at all?
What gives me the right to comment on such a horrific event?
This morning, I attempted to tell my host mother why I was feeling so sad.
Yet before I could find the word for "attack" in Spanish, the feeling of sadness escaped me as I felt a sudden rush of embarrassment for not knowing Spanish in the first place.
The Absurd World presents itself when the way we feel intersects with the way we think we should feel.
People die.
I think I should feel sad therefore I feel sad
The curtain drops and I'm left alone backstage
Now how should I feel?
Still sad? Or just confused? Maybe uncertain at what's to come next.
I find myself without a script yet the lights are still on and the show must go on.
Like I said, the loss of words comes all too soon as I think of what to say in this blog.
Several of my friends were just in Paris this past month and a couple are there now. Everyone I know who is there have been reported safe, but what about those that haven't been? What are we supposed to think about those that were actually killed this weekend? How are their families and friends feeling?
Should we think it's sad? Probably.
Should we think it's not right? Most definitely.
What then is it that we think is not right?
The attack on human lives?
The threat of terrorism?
The disruption of our everyday lives?
The retaliation of some Facebook users?
These questions keep coming to me as I scroll through Facebook and look at all the statuses made about the attack.
How should I feel?
What should I write?
What should I think?
How should I believe?
The questions of should haunt humanity and touch us in the most sincere way.
What then are we feeling aside from what we think we should be feeling? Why do we not change our profile pictures to the flag of every nation when they experience a horrible attack? Why is it specifically this attack?
The public's mind has been shifted to this event in particular, but why not another one?
What about the attack from yesterday?
Or the one from today?
What about the one from tomorrow?
Maybe because Paris hits us closer to home. Maybe because we can point to Paris on a map. Maybe because we've seen Paris in movies and read about Paris in books.
Maybe because we think we should feel a certain way and therefore we do.
I don't know nor do I think I have the answers.
All I know is I have questions that seem lost and words that seek to be found.
Prayers for Paris
Prayers for the World
Prayers for humans that encompass Humanity and the Humanity that embodies humans
A dark world makes a heart all the darker
Be the change. Make the difference. Shine the Light.
Time after time I am blessed to hear such wonderful compliments from you all as I do my best to write about my time here.
And then a terrorist attack happens.
And my mind doesn't know where to go.
Questions get lost in themselves while words seek to be found.
How am I supposed to think about anything else?
Am I supposed to write at all?
What am I supposed to do or say or think or believe?
How am I supposed to tell you about my week or the lessons learned when so many people have died?
Who am I to speak about this matter at all?
What gives me the right to comment on such a horrific event?
This morning, I attempted to tell my host mother why I was feeling so sad.
Yet before I could find the word for "attack" in Spanish, the feeling of sadness escaped me as I felt a sudden rush of embarrassment for not knowing Spanish in the first place.
The Absurd World presents itself when the way we feel intersects with the way we think we should feel.
People die.
I think I should feel sad therefore I feel sad
The curtain drops and I'm left alone backstage
Now how should I feel?
Still sad? Or just confused? Maybe uncertain at what's to come next.
I find myself without a script yet the lights are still on and the show must go on.
Like I said, the loss of words comes all too soon as I think of what to say in this blog.
Several of my friends were just in Paris this past month and a couple are there now. Everyone I know who is there have been reported safe, but what about those that haven't been? What are we supposed to think about those that were actually killed this weekend? How are their families and friends feeling?
Should we think it's sad? Probably.
Should we think it's not right? Most definitely.
What then is it that we think is not right?
The attack on human lives?
The threat of terrorism?
The disruption of our everyday lives?
The retaliation of some Facebook users?
These questions keep coming to me as I scroll through Facebook and look at all the statuses made about the attack.
How should I feel?
What should I write?
What should I think?
How should I believe?
The questions of should haunt humanity and touch us in the most sincere way.
What then are we feeling aside from what we think we should be feeling? Why do we not change our profile pictures to the flag of every nation when they experience a horrible attack? Why is it specifically this attack?
The public's mind has been shifted to this event in particular, but why not another one?
What about the attack from yesterday?
Or the one from today?
What about the one from tomorrow?
Maybe because Paris hits us closer to home. Maybe because we can point to Paris on a map. Maybe because we've seen Paris in movies and read about Paris in books.
Maybe because we think we should feel a certain way and therefore we do.
I don't know nor do I think I have the answers.
All I know is I have questions that seem lost and words that seek to be found.
Prayers for Paris
Prayers for the World
Prayers for humans that encompass Humanity and the Humanity that embodies humans
A dark world makes a heart all the darker
Be the change. Make the difference. Shine the Light.
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